The brain is a supercomputer. It can create something out of nothing, analyze complex matters, hold thoughts incomprehensible to any other living creature. Our most important mission should be to understand how it works. This can allow us to harness this mighty power.
If your brain is in control, you are under attack every single day. Thoughts haunt you, instincts break you apart. You have to take control if you want more than survival.
The first step in understanding yourself is acceptance: accept who you are now, accept your past, accept your thoughts, accept your actions. Even if you disagree, accept. Even if flawed, accept. This will make it possible to start growing from a place of love. It’s the most important part, otherwise you would constantly be unsatisfied until you reach a stage you would call “enough”. However, there is no such thing as “enough” when you fall into this spiral. You’ll seek more growth constantly, you would never be enough for yourself. If you can say you are enough as you are currently, but still seek growth, you can be happy with any outcome, and more compassionate about setbacks.
Now that you have accepted you are as a whole, see the parts that are not really YOU. The reactions that stem from a past negative emotion. You might had horrible experiences when you were a child. It’s not a surprise you are cautious with people, you react harshly to similar things now as you did before. Ask yourself this: are you the same person you were back then? Do you know better now? With your current knowledge, would you react differently?
We are constantly evolving, seeking more knowledge, understanding, of ourselves, of others. Nothing is stagnant. This truth could set you free from your past. You are not bound by it, you can react differently. Think about your actions, think about their roots, and decide whether they are still needed to protect you.
You were a different person back then. You didn’t know better. You might had no power over the circumstances. And that is okay. You couldn’t have known. You weren’t responsible. You shouldn’t have been in a situation like that, that’s pretty apparent. But it happened, and it’s a part of your history. Accept it, and feel the emotions again. With your current self. With your current knowledge. Know, that it’s different now, but FEEL what you felt. Integrate the experience into your current self. Be one with every part of you that has been left behind. Put the pieces together. You are strong. You are a whole. You are enough. You always have been enough. You always will be enough. And you can always be more.
Go out there, and make things happen. You are capable. You can do anything you’d like. You have the strength of a thousand others. Go for it, friend.