Going through the motions.
Constantly fearing the future.
Ruminating the past.
No real goal or direction.
Wandering aimlessly,
thinking ahead one step at a time.
What happens after that step?
Who knows, life is uncertain, right?
No agency over their life.
Whatever happens, it must be chance. God’s willing.
Given up on any dreams and aspirations. Deams are for children.
My heart breaks when I think about it.
Adults become numb to the world at a certain age.
Life throws hardships at you, that’s evident. But most decide to give up at this moment.
It’s too hard to stay on your own path. Can’t deal with the problems that come with that.
“I’ll just conform, and do what everyone else is doing. My family and friends wanted me to be an engineer anyway. I want to make them proud.”
But you secretly hate it.
Every Monday, you wake up tired. Knots in your stomach. Head hurts just by thinking about the day ahead. You contemplate quitting. You’ve been doing that for a while now. Just waiting for the perfect moment. Starting something of your own.
You’ve always been fascinated by the music industry. You’re listening to something every waking hour. But your guitar is just collecting dust. Maybe you should pick it up again? Meh, one day.
And that day never comes.
Responsibilities and conformity keeping you in shackles.
Even trying is scary now. What if you’re not good enough? People will laugh at you. Shun you. Tell you to quit. You couldn’t take that. Not from your friends.
This vicious cycle keeps you in your loop.
Hating your current life. Afraid of starting anything else.
Slowly, time passes by.
One day, you’re starting fresh in your Big Boy Job.
Now, you’re hitting 50, your kids in high school, wife working full time as well.
You’re living comfortably, but your kids will have to start from scratch. No car, no house.
Not good enough, but just comfortable enough.
Everyone else in the neighbourhood has multiple cars.
Running their own companies.
Living life comfortably.
Soon retiring themselves.
“But they got lucky!”, you think to yourself.
It’s always luck, isn’t it?
Anyone who’s living better than you.
And you’re always “unlucky”.
You got dealt bad cards.
That’s your tragedy.
Your whole lineage is cursed, it seems.
So you keep slaving away. Not trying anything, because you’d always fail.
Not knowing that the 5th company you’d try would be a huge success.
You’re afraid to start the first one.
And this will be your downfall.